I received a great letter this week. A high school student wants to interview me and find out what it feels like to be a celebrity after interviewing so many celebrities. His perception is that I’ve achieved fame, money and incredible success from my year in America. I’ve gained MUCH, but I think…
It’s time to clean out what’s left of my house.
And there’s not much left. A car, a few boxes, photos, my Grandmother’s silver and a stream of debt that I CHOSE to take on these last 18 months.
This is not a story about why I’m a victim or why you should feel sorry for me or why you should give me money. I want to tell my story – as all my stories go, it’s going to be okay. I am fine. This story is about releasing shame and showing up bloody, vulnerable, maybe poor, but happy at the end of the day and most importantly, HONEST.
Yep, I am failing. Over the last week, I kicked off the limited launch of my book on a website called Kickstarter. The site gives me 30 days to meet the financial goal I set by asking all to buy my book and pledge dollars. My goal is $16,000 and my end date is November 14. If I don’t hit the goal, no one is charged and no book is made. I crunched the numbers today and my projections are way off – I will likely fail to meet my goal. I crunched the numbers in advance of the launch and I overestimated. I made a mistake.
Yep, I am unemployed. I worked two project-based jobs in New York in addition to KBA the last three months. I applied for many full-time jobs, interviewed, & took meetings. My herniated disc came back, full force and slowed me down. I took meds and pushed on, invested in private healthcare and moved home to Indiana. I’m meeting with doctors and working to get this new insurance to approve the herniated disc surgery I need. I’m physically broken and I live with my parents at 35. I made a mistake.
Yep, I am broke. I bleed money in credit card interest and healthcare costs despite working hard my adult life to live debt free until 18 months ago. I carry $30,000 of debt from one month to the next. I had the most inspiring year of my life, but I also created a financial shitstorm. I thought it would be easy to snag a job the second the year ended. I was wrong. I made a mistake.
So yeah, yeah, yeah. I am failing. I am broke. I am broken. I am unemployed. But it’s not a secret anymore! It’s not shameful. It is my life. Some of these stories, all or more, mirror your life. Someone you know is going through this, too. Maybe they’re afraid to share, maybe shame keeps everyone quiet. It shouldn’t. Let the shame out. Clean out your house with someone safe who loves you, fast.
Now that my house is clean, I say with total relief – I wouldn’t change one thing. Today, I gracefully and peacefully accept my mistakes. These failings are minor in the scheme of my whole life.
It’s great that I get featured in The Huffington Post and Yahoo! News and that people take my photo and make videos about my life, but in the end, I’m no different than anyone else. In some ways my life is easier and in some ways it’s harder, but at the end of the day, this celebrity is just surviving. I tip my hat to all of you surviving. Hang in there. We’ll be ok.
Kelly travels across the country sharing her One Person, One Community, One Nation Movement. She is changing the face of the nation one connection, one adventure and one inspirational story at a time. Kelly delivers a front row seat to the best of the United States of America.